“Argh… I understand you want to be welcoming to your family, but that doesn’t mean I can just adjust like that,” I snapped at my husband. “The baby has a sleep schedule, and I still have work to finish.” He had casually mentioned that his parents and some family friends were coming over—in two hours. I stood there, in my morning clothes, already exhausted before the day had even begun.
I knew how important hospitality is to him and his family, and a part of me wanted to meet that ideal—the good daughter-in-law, caring and gracious. But another part of me felt resentful. How does one be a professional, a good mother, and the ready host—all at the same time? Everything in me felt stretched thin.
Sometimes I wondered if I was the problem. Too rigid in my ideas and needs, too modern, too foreign to this rhythm of life. Each time I tried to live up to everyone else’s expectations, I felt more lost. I began to feel like a stranger in my own body. Tired, anxious, constantly catching up with life.”
About various adjustments, and,
How does a Dutch person end up as an Indian coach?
I spent the first half of my life in the Netherlands and the second half in India. I first came to India for work, and then life happened — I got married, had a child, and stayed almost fifteen years before returning to the Netherlands in 2023.
When I started my practice in India, I realised many women were going through what I had gone through. Living in two worlds at the same time — modern and traditional, giving to others and searching for your own individuality and purpose.
My vision
You might feel that nothing can really change — that no matter what, you’ll still find it hard to say ‘no’. But inside, you have always known what truly matters. You will never act against what you deeply care about. What you need is to feel and see your own worth. From that space, your choices begin to align naturally. Your communication becomes clear and loving, with boundaries that come from respect — both for yourself and for others.
Some trivia
I have been trained as an Industrial Design Engineer, and I have always felt that the most profound thing we learnt was genuine curiosity about people and to get to know new fields quickly.
However, I had never dreamt to be a therapist, and that is exactly what I finally became, thrive in and love the most.
I started out with learning therapy because I had to overcome 40 food intolerances and IBS. Today I live free from most of my problems, though admittedly my stomach is still the first to warn me when I have insufficiently taken care of myself emotionally.
Does some of my story sound familiar? I would love to hear your story. Don’t worry, its free.